Change for you

It is natural when you have made changes in your life, which helped you, that you would want your partner to do the same. You should never try to force others to change; leave them. Let them change naturally and orderly because they want to; and they will want to when they see that your change was worthwhile.

So change for you, change because you see the need and want to. Don’t ever change for someone else, that kind change will never last. Understand that when you make changes in your life, you will be  inspiration to others. Some may follow right away, some may take a while, and some may never but that isn’t your concern. Your concern is how your changes affect you.

“To inspire in others a desire to change for the better is truly noble; but this you can do only by leaving them alone, and becoming more noble yourself.” —–Christian D. Larson, “Mastery of Self”

8 tips to boost your self-esteem

Here are eight tips to help boost your Self-esteem:

1. Make a self-appreciation list

Write a list of at least five (5) of your top qualities, the more the merrier. I know some of you can find millions of ways to criticize yourselves, so I want you to take the time to look for the good in you. These things make you unique. Carry the list around with you every day and read them to remind yourself what makes you special.

2. Make a list of past successes

Think about the times in your life when you have been successful at something, no matter if it seems insignificant. Write a list of all of these and remind yourself how you did them and how great it felt when you achieved your goals. Use these experiences to fuel your self-belief and confidence for achieving your goals in the future.

3. Don’t put yourself down

Take the time to tally how many times you speak negatively about yourself. This will help to ensure that you become aware of how many times a day you are telling people or yourself that you aren’t good enough or any good. This is a real eye-opener! Try it! It will help to reduce the frequency of negative dialogue.

4. Choose positive role models

We can help ourselves by looking at others in a constructive and positive way rather than negatively comparing ourselves with them. Look at others with a glowing self-confidence and notice their characteristics. Pick up words and body language that they use and add them to your own repertoire.

5. Accept compliments

Being able to accept, believe, and feel good about compliments is crucial to cultivating a high level of self-confidence. The best way to accept compliments is to look the person in the face, smile and say ‘thank-you’. This will in turn also make them feel good. Looking embarrassed or looking down at your feet and feeling uncomfortable will also make the person giving the compliment uncomfortable – no-one wins in that situation!

6. Positive affirmations

Using positive affirmations every day is really effective as you’re talking to your subconscious where all your negative thoughts are stored. Pick three strong statements, which literally make a negative self-belief into a positive one. For example, if you believe you’re not a confident person then ‘I am a confident person’ should be one of your daily positive affirmations. Say your positive affirmations out loud while looking in the mirror as this makes them stronger because you’re connecting with yourself.

7. Constructive self-talk

We all have an irrational and rational voice. Use constructive questioning on yourself to ensure the irrational voice gets less airtime than the rational voice. Keep practicing this, as it will give you an overwhelming sense of control over your negative inner voice, which is invaluable in many situations in life.

8. Take care of yourself

Take time out to nurture yourself. Eat well and drink less alcohol. Go to sleep early and exercise. Take breaks. This indicates to yourself that you are worthy of being cared for. Remember you deserve to take care of yourself and to be taken care of!

Use the eight tips and your self-esteem will skyrocket!


You cannot hit a target you never set

I was in the airport the other day and saw this slogan: You cannot hit a target you never set. And it hit me (no pun intended) that how true this is about our goals.

In a previous post Commit I wrote about setting and committing to achieving goals. You have to plan the work and then work then plan. But first, let your goals be yours! Not what others approve of or how it looks, let it be solely yours. Do it because it makes you feel good! Do it because it is what you are passionate about.

Targets/goals that are not based on you but some outside influence (such as how it looks to others) can be achieved but fulfillment are short-lived if it comes at all.

You can accomplish whatsoever you put your mind and heart to, because you have the Power within you. When you are divinely inspired, you will find strength and resolve to hit your target.

Let us now set our targets, take our bows and aim those arrows, pull back and then let them fly!

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